“How do you put into words when you finally figured out that you weren’t healthy and that change was necessary? It should be pretty easy right?
I can’t even remember a time when my weight wasn’t on the front burner. I was either being told that I was fat by other kids, or I was told by my uncle that my kidneys were going to fail if I didn’t get the weight off. Nice, huh? When I was in school, this guy came up to me on the school bus and asked me this question, “did you know you were fat?” I was working at Sonic in my early 20′s and a lady my mother knew gave me this look and just simply said, “you’ve gained weight.” As you can imagine these comments didn’t really help in aiding my weight issues. They simply made my run, no sprint, to food. I didn’t feel worthy in anyone’s eyes and so I found solace in food. Food accepted me, loved me, and didn’t judge me.
Before I knew it, I topped the scales at 250 pounds. What?! Why didn’t someone tell me I was fat!!?? I think the moment I actually noticed it was at my brothers wedding. There was a picture taken of he and I, and yep you guessed it, I was turned to the side. I saw myself for the first time. I mean really saw myself. I couldn’t believe it.
During this time, (January 2001) my brother and his wife were planning a vacation that we were all going to go on. I thought to myself, here is my opportunity to lose some weight before we go. My sister-n-law and her sister were also going to drop a few pounds. A few pounds!? A few pounds wouldn’t even make a dent in what I needed to lose, but I went along with them.
Fast-forward 6 months and I was down 55 pounds! What??!! Who am I?? I followed the Weight Watchers program and this is where the foundation of being taught how to make good choices. That is the best part about the Weight Watchers progam! As for my workouts, I simply just started walking.
Months went by and I just seemed stuck between 200 and 195. No matter what I did, nothing seemed to move beyond these numbers. I became utterly disappointed and didn’t know where to go! I promise, I am getting to the best part of this journey.
On a night that I just didn’t want to be around anyone, we had this guest speaker at my church. He actually was a friend of mine, so I felt obligated to attend the service. He was speaking on a mission trip that he had just gotten home from and how it had changed his life. Spiritually, I have grown up in church and love the Lord, but I also felt stuck in this part of my life. After this night, my life completely changed! I can’t even put it into words. Do you ever wonder why you were put here? What your purpose is?? I am not married, nor do I have any children, what gives?! This night I finally realized that being “single” was ok. I could simply drop what I was doing and be on mission for the Lord.
Right away I got involved in missions and wanted to do more. I even called the IMB (International Mission Board) to see how I went about getting involved with foreign missions, a HUGE passion of mine. Little did I know, there were actual qualifications to be a Missionary. Huh? Loving the Lord and having a heart for missions wasn’t enough. One that really stuck out was the issue of my BMI. It had to be less than 30 and at the time it was not. When I got off the phone with the rep, I just simply cried. Why is this door being closed? How could this be?
Here’s why. Little did I know, God had this plan. He always does and they are always good. I started making small changes in my life, better ones. I joined the gym, cut candy and cokes completely out of my diet, incorporated better food choices and the weight just sort of melted off! I couldn’t believe it!!
Here’s the deal, I couldn’t do the things that I wanted to and be the size that I was. My love for the Lord outweighed all of the torment that my weight had caused me. Since then, I have been on 11 mission trips, 6 being foreign. God had not said “no” He simply said “not right now.”
Our journeys are different from each other, but that is ok. This is a realization that still teaches me on a daily basis.
So would I change the torturous remarks or the rude comments? No, I wouldn’t. I think our journeys make us who we are. Is my journey over? Absolutely not. Every chance I get, I encourage other people to make healthy changes in their lives, especially women. We all have a path and we all have purpose. ”